Many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many moons ago, there was a period in the beginning of time when people would sit around a fire and stare at one another…all…day…long. And that was it. Thank the gods that someone got bored and decided to do something about that boredom…they punched the nearest person. And thus the birth of fighting for entertainment was born. This birth caused the birth of many other fine functions that would become part of the world’s culture.
Stones and funny shaped bones would be placed down in a manner that was kind of like betting but no one understood what the hell they were doing so no one actually won anything. Sticks would be shoved up the ass of any animal so others could eat easier without missing a fight. Females would begin to wear clothing just so that they could toss them at their favorite fighters. And the males would invent hats so they could carry their drinks around with them.
As fighting became bigger and more popular, festivals and yearly events began to be organized, thus the birth of the personal assistants came to be. And with popularity and fame, so the manger too was born so that they can get 65% of the winnings. Artist were soon born too for they were hired to promote these events with works of art unlike one had ever seen before. And as the people came from far and near to watch these epic fights, someone had the idea to open up their home to these strangers…for a fee of course. Once hotels had be created, landlords were soon to follow and soon towns themselves were born. After someone decided maybe they should own the town, to which someone else decided to run against them, mayors were also born.
After that the titles just changed to more fancy things like Kings and Big Kahuna but they were still the same. And when someone had the bright idea of writing down what they saw, the art of Journalism came to be. Soon others wanted to keep these tidbits therefore hoarders came to be as well. Which people mistaken them for librarians and that’s how that got started.
On and on, things would be created and born from the events of fighting and those who became involved with it. And that dear children is why fighting is the most important thing in the world. Without it, our world would not be as it is and you would not be who you are….. What? That’s it. You want more? Go read a damn book. Not everything I say is a golden nugget of oh so awesomeness…NOW GET OFF MY DAMN LAWN YOU DAMN KIDS I DON’T HAVE TO BUY YOUR COOKIES!! TURN OFF YOUR PELVIS HOP MUSIC AND PULL YOUR PANTS UP!! I’LL CALL THE COzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…